either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
