ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
