She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
