I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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