It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
