all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
