Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
