Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
