right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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