are you still at the devil's house?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
