i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
