dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
