haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
