We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
