We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
