Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
