then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
