No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
