just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
