What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
