just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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