take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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