I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
