Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
