Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
