hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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