Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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