i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
