yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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