They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
