You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
