does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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