you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
