I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
