everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
