So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
