Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
