He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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