is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
