Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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