so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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