and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
