I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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