once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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