i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
