'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
