She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
