I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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