You really coming over, don't trick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
