nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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