awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
